Funerals

Funeral Protocol

For believers in Messiah Yeshua, the death of a loved one can be a difficult experience. We are sorry for your loss and we want to help you any way we can. Although we grieve the loss of one who has been close, we do not sorrow as those who have no hope.

Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who are without hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13

It is our desire and privilege to minister to the families of our congregation in their time of need. The Word of God provides the hope we have, even in the midst of the death of a loved one.

For everything that was written in the past was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. Romans 15:4

This CFM Funeral Protocol is provided to assist our families in planning and providing a YHVH-honoring funeral.

Grief Ministry Team

A family contacting Corner Fringe Ministries for a funeral service request will be given this CFM Funeral Protocol prior to any commitment. Should the family desire to use CFM for the funeral service, a member of the CFM Grief Ministry Team will be introduced to the family’s primary contact person. Our Grief Ministry Team will assist you and the family as much as possible in making funeral arrangements. We want to help make this time as stress-free for you as possible so that you can grieve in a health way.

Counseling
Our staff is incredibly sensitive to what you are facing. Sometimes people need a little extra help in the grieving process and we are here to offer that to you. Feel free to ask for that at any time.

Notifications

If you would like, Corner Fringe Ministries would be happy to place a notification of the service in CFM’s newsletter, Facebook page and/or website.

The CFM Funeral Service

A funeral service held in the church is a service of worship in celebration of the deceased’s life and the promise of eternal life through Messiah Yeshua. Consequently, all parts of the service are to be consistent with the present worship practices of CFM. The family is encouraged to suggest other items be included in the service.  If approved by CFM, these will be accommodated.

Funeral services are allowed on any day except a Shabbat or a Holy Day. CFM makes a distinction between Shabbat and every other day of the week by setting aside the Sabbath for worshipping Yeshua and not for the burying the dead.

The funeral director, in concert with the pastor, will have direction over such matters as timing, closed casket, music, flowers, etc.

Location
Although funeral services may be held in a funeral home, the best place for conducting a believer’s funeral service is in the sanctuary of that believer’s home church, so that all who attend may be reminded of the hope and assurance we have in our resurrected Messiah Yeshua. As such, all attendees of CFM are encouraged to use the church building for funeral services. The church sanctuary is also offered for the funeral services of believers who attended a different fellowship, but one that has been linked to CFM.

The options for a funeral service are:

  • a private graveside service for family members as soon after death as possible, and/or
  • a public service of worship/memorial service conducted at the church later. These services will only be conducted in the church sanctuary.

Officiate
Pastoral ethics require a Corner Fringe pastor conduct all funeral services held at Corner Fringe Ministries. A pastor from another congregation may be invited to share in officiating the funeral or act on behalf of the pastor of CFM if approved. Any requests for another pastor or lay person to officiate or assist in the service must be approved by CFM.

Closed Caskets
All caskets must be closed before the actual funeral service. However, the casket may be open before or during the viewing period for the family only, if desired. When closed, the flower blanket, flag or coverlet will cover the casket. The casket will remain closed throughout the service.

Program
All matters of the program must be approved by CFM.

Eulogy, Scripture Readings & Prayers

  • Determine which family member will deliver the eulogy.
  • Determine which family members or friends will read the Scriptures during the service.
  • What were favorite Scriptures of your loved one or which ones are meaningful to the family?
  • The Mourner’s Kaddish – some mourners may wish to recite this praise prayer to God.
  • The role of any other family members or friends who might be involved in the service.

Music
Type of Music
Given a funeral is a service of worship, it is important to only use music that is appropriate to a worship service. The music selection must honor YHVH and draw people to Him for comfort and peace even while they mourn.

Any and all types of music for the funeral service must be approved by CFM, including taped instrumental and accompaniment music, soloists and solos, anthems, and guest musicians. The use of congregational hymns is encouraged and may be selected with the pastor in consultation with the family during the service planning process.

Musicians
All musical arrangements (pianist, soloist, etc.) must be arranged for and taken care of by the family. Since Corner Fringe Ministries does not have paid staff musicians, we will make every effort to help you with your music contacts of musician congregants at CFM if needed, but please remember that time and date may affect the availability of musicians.

In cases where an outside musician is desired, permission must be secured from CFM. The use of recorded music or pre-recorded accompaniments is highly discouraged.

Video Presentations
Any videos the family desires to use during the service must be submitted to the CFM office at least 24 hours prior to the funeral service for review and approval. All presentations should:

  • be in DVD format (not Power Point)
  • not exceed five minutes in length
  • be either on CD or in flash drive or emailed the production department at info@cornerfringe.com.

Decorations
Families may wish to display the deceased’s remains, as well as certain mementos or photographs of the deceased and his/her family. The following guidelines must be followed:

  • Any displays or pictures must be appropriate to a worship setting
  • No nails, tacks, staples or screws shall be put in the walls or attached to the pews
  • All decorations must be removed within 3 hours of the conclusion of the service
  • No furniture shall be removed from the church building.

Flowers
The displaying of flowers is generally discouraged at a Jewish funeral. Instead, choose an appropriate charity for people to make donations to in memory of their loved one.

Should memorial floral arrangements be made, they should be delivered directly to the church or the funeral home. After the service, the family may specify what they would like to do with the floral arrangements, either take the arrangements with them or donate them to the church.

Childcare & Nursery
The church does not provide childcare or a nursery for funeral services. If children are to attend the funeral, arrange to seat them with a babysitter or other responsible adult who will not mind leaving the service if the children are restless or upset. If needed, the family is responsible for securing a nursery attendant.

Services by Fraternal Organizations, Lodges, Etc.

Services by fraternal orders, lodges, veteran groups or other organizations are not appropriate for our community. If the family still wishes for this type of involvement in the service, it must be coordinated with CFM and will be limited to the funeral home or graveside service.

Seudat Havra’ah: Meal of Consolation

This is a Hebrew term referring to the first meal served to the mourners in the house of mourning upon returning from the cemetery. If the family will be observing this custom, you must determine which family members or friends will make the arrangements for this light meal. This meal could be held at the church or at another location. Take note of fees related to this item. Information regarding the meal should be passed along to mourners at the funeral service.

Funeral Fees

CFM Members
If the deceased or a member of their immediate family (spouse, parents, children, siblings) is an active attendee of Corner Fringe Ministries there is no fee for the use of the church facilities. Those who regularly attend and contribute to the CFM by providing regular financial and personal support for the community are considered active members. These privileges include our homebound members and those who have served as former pastors of the church.

Non-CFM Members
For all non-CFM member individuals, infrequent attendees or inactive attendees of CFM, fees will be assessed as noted. Download the PDF file below to view the member and non-member fees.

Download

Church use and Sound System Operator fees are payable by cash or check made payable to “Corner Fringe Ministries” on or prior to the day of the funeral. Normally, honorariums for the pastor, pianist or musicians are paid following the service or through the funeral director.

Although there is no fixed fee for the services of the CFM pastor & Grief Ministry Team, it is customary to give an honorarium to the officiating pastor/congregation. Typical honorariums range from $150 -$300. Checks should be made payable to the individual minister or “Corner Fringe Ministries”.

Typical honorariums for any musicians range from $75 - $150 per person. Checks should be made payable to the individual musicians unless other arrangements are made.

CFM Members: The Grief Ministry Team will do everything reasonably possible to accommodate a request for a family meal/lunch before or after a funeral service. While there is no fee charged for this meal ministry or any cost for preparation and serving, free-will donations are accepted and appreciated to help cover costs. Attendees of the church provide this service as a ministry in the spirit of Christian love. Their mission is to serve willingly and pleasingly, inspired and led by the Ruach HaKodesh.

Non-CFM Members/Inactive: In-active attendees may utilize the Fellowship Hall but are responsible for:

  • the indicated building expense use fee
  • arranging for delivery and payment of any food or refreshments
  • set-up and clean-up of Fellowship Hall
  • serving of the food/refreshments

Shiva: 7 Day Mourning Period

Ecclesiastes 3:4
A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance

 This period of mourning during the first week after the funeral is focused on the needs and support of the family and friends. It is a time of comforting one another.

During this week, consideration is given to the organization of time for welcoming home visits of others to see the family but also assuring times of solitude for family recovery as needed. It may be helpful to have groceries and other necessary items delivered to the house over the course of the week to allow for rest.

These are some considerations should you wish to follow this designated period. The Shiva information may be passed out at the funeral.

  • Determine day, time and location
  • Create a door sign with visiting hours posted as a courtesy to all
  • Notify neighbors of the presence of additional cars and people in the neighborhood
  • Notify employers of needs for family leave
  • Set a schedule for meal preparation by friends and extended family.

May Messiah Yeshua comfort and console you and your family during this time. We rejoice in the knowledge of the resurrection of the dead for the glory and honor of our Lord, Messiah Yeshua!

Download Protocol

What to Do When a Loved One Dies

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Sharing the Sadness
Family and friends closest to the deceased should be notified in person when possible.  Do the best to make sure the person is not alone to receive sad news.  For example, it is not appropriate to notify someone close while that person is on a cell phone and driving a car.

Make a list of people who should be contacted regarding the death. Include family members, friends, employers, co-workers, community members, and neighbors of both the deceased and of family members.

Delegate family members and friends for helping to make phone calls.

Considerations
What were the wishes of the deceased? Find any relevant information.

  • Was there a Will delineating their wishes for burial and/or service?
  • Was there a pre-arranged burial or funeral plan?

Review Corner Fringe Ministries’ Funeral Protocol for specific details at CFM.

The Funeral Home
Contact a Chevra Kadisha (burial society) and/or funeral home. Once you have made that selection, obtain their contact information and hours of operation. We will work with you to help facilitate the burial details.

Your contact at the funeral home will schedule a planning meeting with you. Before this meeting, be prepared with the following information:

  1. Main family contact person and phone number for communicating with the funeral home and funeral director
  2. Person(s) to be with you for support
  3. Any pre-arrangements made by the deceased. Bring all applicable documents:
    - Pre-paid funeral arrangement

    - Purchased cemetery property
    - Any previously written wishes or preferences of deceased
  4. Inform the funeral home that the family will be working with Corner Fringe Ministries for the service & provide CFM contact information.
  5. Information for the Death Certificate:
    - Your loved one’s full name
    - Social Security number
    - Date and place of birth

    - Address at the time of death
    - Marital status and surviving spouse’s name, if applicable
    - Veteran’s discharge papers (DD-214), if applicable
    - Father’s name
    - Mother’s full name, including maiden name
    - Place of death
    - Highest level of education and occupation
  6. Writing an Obituary, In addition to the information above, you may need:
    - Names of pre-deceased family and relationship
    - Names of surviving family and relationship
    - Brief biological sketch – may include education, occupation, contributions, or membership in church, professional organizations, clubs or other organizations.
    - Special messages such as designation for charitable donations
    Post an obituary in the local and/or Jewish newspapers. Obituaries may be posted either before or after a funeral.
    NOTE: If a memorial or funeral service is announced in the newspaper, take extra precaution for security at the home of the deceased during the indicated time of the service.
  7. Bring burial clothing, including undergarments, for your loved one
    - If the deceased owned a tallit/prayer shawl, decide if they should be buried with it or if it should be kept as a family heirloom.
    - Eyeglasses and jewelry. These items may remain with your loved one or be removed and returned after the service.
    - A recent photograph for cosmetic purposes, if a viewing is planned.
  8. Life insurance policies
  9. Names and contact information for 6 to 8 pallbearers, if applicable.If there are individuals who may be unable to physically handle this task, you may designate them as “honorary” pallbearers.
  10. Estimate of the number of anticipated funeral attendees

Transportation
Often, the funeral home will assist you in making arrangements for transportation to and from the ceremony for mourners and other family members.

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789 Northdale Blvd NW.
Coon Rapids, MN 55448

info@cornerfringe.com
763-210-3888

 
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